Comments on: API changes make me rethink membership

By: Summer

Summer — Fri, 25 May 2007 03:50:08 +0000

Now I’m glad there isn’t an API near me. I don’t know if I could hold back the rant that would be brewing inside me. Unfortunately a lot of AP groups/site/message boards are turning more and more mainstream. It is a depressing trend.

By: Deb)

Deb) — Tue, 22 May 2007 14:54:28 +0000

I’m with you; I think the changes suck. And not in a good way, like in breastfeeding ;-

By: Trish

Trish — Mon, 21 May 2007 15:16:36 +0000

I doubt very much that they are trying to appeal to the extremely few mothers that trully cannot breastfeed. There are alternative medications that can be used for *almost all* medical issues that a nursing mother can encounter. There are only a very very few medical issues that prevent a mother from breastfeeding. And while it is not for everyone, it is actually possible for an adoptive mother to breastfeed also. So I don’t really buy the idea that API is afraid that something like less than 1% of mothers who have a legitimate problem with not feel included.

Using La Leche League as an example – in our local group, we have an adoptive mother that attends and formula feeds her child. Even though LLL is VERY clear on their nursing views, this woman is not made to feel bad at all. She knows breastfeeding is best, wants to be a part of the other things that LLL stands for, and is welcomed into the group with open arms. She has come to terms with her special situation. I don’t see LLL changing their stance on breastfeeding though.

Let’s ignore breastfeeding for a moment. Why has API removed co-sleeping that babywearing from their principles also? Have those items suddenly been found to not impact attachment? Of course not. But yet, API has removed them. Are we changing the definition of Attachment Parenting? Should we now call all the mainstream, formula-feeding, stroller-using, CIO parents attachment parents simply because they love their kids and mean well?

By: Mama Luxe

Mama Luxe — Mon, 21 May 2007 14:17:58 +0000

I’m a big advocate of breastfeeding…just a thought, though: maybe they are considering the fact that adoptive mothers, mothers who need to be on a medication that could harm a bfeeding child, and others who for whatever reason truly cannot bfeed, can still practice attachment parenting.

Breast IS best…but we just never know another’s circumstances.

Just found your blog from my “TheGoodBlogs” widget and I enjoyed reading.

By: Trish

Trish — Mon, 21 May 2007 07:31:39 +0000

People like me come to API to get support because society in general does not support attachment parenting. There are a million other organizations that could offer support to these parents that you are talking about. Organizations that value “feeding with love and respect” over breastfeeding. I’m not inteested in being a part of one of those organizations because they just mirror the mainstream culture that is constantly telling us that formula is just fine, just as good as breastmilk, etc.

What people that don’t breastfeed often miss is that breastfeeding is more than just a feeding method. It is way of life, of parenting, of connecting to newborns, and of constanting reaffirming that attachment. When you phrase the principle as “feed with love and respect”, you basically put all the emphasis on love and respect while you push breastfeeding into the realm of “just another feeding choice. Fuck that. All sorts of people claim that they love and respect their kids, but that doesn’t mean their actions necessarily honor their children’s attachment needs.

Sure, I’d like to help other women to understand how important things like breastfeeding and cosleeping are. I just don’t think leaving it out of the principles and trying to slip it in here and there is the way to do it. Now, I’ve been to API meetings where some of the attendees didn’t breastfeed. No one was shunned at the meetings. But there was always an understanding in the group about the importance of breastfeeding.