I’m retelling a story that I heard tonight that made me crack up. It’s not exactly my story, but I need to tell it anyway. I’m so mad that I missed the meeting when it occurred.

Our Attachment Parenting group meets evenings in a building that also hosts meetings of local old folks. The old folks have pancake breakfasts, socials, and whatever else old folks do when they are together. The AP folks meet in a room on one side of the building and the old folks are on the other side.

At the end of the AP meeting, one of the mommies started her car remotely. The car happened to be parked on the other side of the building, just outside the window of the room with the old folks. Once the car started, the old folks went on high alert. What could have made a car start by itself? Did anyone see a person starting it? What’s going on? The old folks flocked outside to see the car. Several of them actually opened up the car to investigate how there were no keys in the ignition. They got into the car to try and figure it out. How could a car be running with no keys?

Finally, one of the old folks ran into the AP meeting to announce the confusing car situation to the AP mommies. Did anyone know who’s car it was? The AP mommies were talking and didn’t immediately notice the old chap. Finally, the remote-starting car-owning mommy pipes up that it is her car that is running on the other side of the building. More confusion. She tries to explain about the remote. The old folks frown. They don’t get it. More explanations. They still don’t get it. The AP mommy gives up trying to explain. Then (I love this part) she is chastised – What if a hobo got into her car and drove off?!

I love that – the idea that there are hobos just waiting to get into a remote-starting car in this cushy exurban town. Don’t hobos prefer to jump onto a moving train? I thought that was what my dad told me when I was 10. Well, perhaps if cars can now be made to start remotely, maybe hobos are attracted to that. Maybe a hobo is drawn to any running and untended mode of transportation. Little do they know that they won’t make it far without the keys.

Here is my idea: I want to show up at various meetings of old folks and freak them out by starting cars remotely. Will it create a panic? How long would it take for them to catch on? Why does this make me smile with such a freakishly entertained expression? Am I weird?