iPhone en Chile / iPhone in Chile?

Originally uploaded by Diego Sepulveda

There are reports of lifeless losers around the world waiting in line for a week for an iPhone. Some of them are attempting to cash in on their feeble attempt at fame, while others are just materialist fanboys/fangirls. What is clear is that 1) they have no life and 2) they have an iPhone fetish.

Now, before any Apple apologists start trolling, I don’t hate the iPhone. Not at all – I would agree that it’s the coolest phone ever. I wouldn’t mind having one some day. But roughing it on a sidewalk for a week to buy one is beyond stupid. If a truck plowed into a line and killed them, it would be one of the lamest ways to go out ever. They would be better off doing something more fulfilling for a week, then buying an iPhone. Here are some ideas:

1. Go camping. Escape the tyrrany of a life ruled by the numbers 9 and 5. Get attuned to the real world by living with nature’s rhythms – wake up with the sun and go to sleep when it’s dark. Amplify that by camping on or near a beach and observe the tides.

2. Spend time with your family. Yeah, I’m sure communicating with your family is easier with an iPhone, but it’s no replacement for actual human contact. Do this with family members you like – I don’t advocate spending a week with the shitheads who hate you. That’s one thing that’s worse than waiting in line for a phone.

3. Go to a drought-stricken country and help people. Buying stuff to make yourself feel good will never be the same after that.

4. Go on a vacation. One week is NOT enough for a vacation, but it’s the best most people can do. (It’s a sad indictment of American values, but that’s a blog for another day.) Get your mind off your job and other responsibilities that suck and free yourself.