Turns out I have a verifiable disorder with an actual name. It’s called Third Baby Syndrome, and I have it bad. According to this midwifery student, it is even mentioned in midwifery textbooks. I actually feel much better now, knowing.

What are my symptoms? For quite a few weeks, I was obsessed with the fear that I was having twins. The morning sickness and fatigue has been a lot worse for this pregnancy, combined with the fact that I began showing at something like 8 weeks. I’ve also been incredibly hungry, which I don’t remember from the first two pregnancies. It just all feels incredibly different. So I brought up my fear that I was having twins at my first midwife appointment. She kind of reassured me. I mean, I’m not even vomiting that much, so it’s not like I have hyperemesis. It’s just that it feel so different from the first two times. I keep catching myself wondering if there is something wrong, just because things are not like my first two pregnancies. Typical Third Baby Syndrome, I now know.

I also have a strange amount of fear surrounding birth this time. My first birth was in an in-hospital birthing center, and it went pretty well. For my second birth, we planned a homebirth, and it went wonderfully. I think the second time, I was just so happy to be staying at home that I really didn’t have any fears entering labor. This time, I have worries. What if I have a hospital transfer (in Costa Rica, no less)? Third Baby Syndrome strikes again. My plan: I’m going to try to focus on the positives. After all, planning a low or no intervention homebirth is going to increase the likelihood of a normal, natural birth. I’m also in the process of getting some Hypnobabies CDs to reduce my stress and focus on positive pregnancy affirmations.  Finally, I’ve ordered a copy of Birthing From Within from my local library, so that I can do some wrestling with my fears and some art that connects me with my baby.

On the hunger: Arp tells me that he remembers it from the first two pregnancies. I asked him the other day, “What if I eat us out of house and home?” He says, “You asked that the first two times, and we still have a house, right?” That made me feel better, too.  And every time I walk up, showing him my huge belly, saying, “Look at this belly!” he says, “It’s great!  I love it!”  I am a lucky woman, indeed.