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My brother from another mother

12 November 2008 2 views 6 Comments

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I’m not the only unschooling, radical, child of immigrant Indian parents in the world. Arun, one of the masterminds behind The Parenting Pit, is the other. I (along with Trish) had the joy of meeting my BFAM a couple of weeks ago. We met in the city and dined and chatted for awhile. It was cool to meet someone else who, besides sharing a similar outlook on many topics, also shared some of the same experiences. Like growing up with the common adult Indian guidance that becoming a doctor, lawyer or MBA is best and most practical. Or having a needlessly large wedding foisted on them by socially blinded parental units. And of course the occasional pratfalls that occur when two cultures meet in one family.

It was really nice to meet someone and know that there was a lot of common ground. Like our unschooling support groups, I easily let my guard down and avoided the teeth-gritting moments that occur constantly when dealing with mainstream parents. The sucky part is that Arun lives in Australia. Which is cool if it weren’t 10,000 miles away and ridiculously expense to go to. So the next time we meet might be … in India. Two years from now. Thankfully these cool internet tubes will let us keep in touch.

6 Comments »

Susan said:

I’ve read about those weddings.

# 12 November 2008 at 12:17 pm

Arp (author) said:

Ours was needlessly large. Lots of people we didn’t know, many of whom would not get off their asses to dance. Ultimately, it completely limited the possible venues. We’ve got some wedding baggage to be free of – we might need to exorcise by having another one in CR…

# 12 November 2008 at 12:42 pm

Trish said:

Well, let’s not completely criticize Indian weddings either. On a simple level, I really enjoyed mine. I didn’t feel at all pressured to wear the white wedding dress, there was a real fire involved, and we ate some yummy Indian food, including homemade naan in a tandoori oven. I also think it was a nice way to to introduce Arp’s culture to some of my family that had not yet learned much about Bengalis. Yes, things got complicated with 300 guests. The rain wasn’t cooperative. And no, I didn’t exactly get everything I wanted originally. But there’s always the re-do, right?

# 13 November 2008 at 9:03 am

Armen Shirvanian said:

There sure is a strong force that some parents transmit to their children about those said professions being the only one of enough value to pursue. The validity of that line of thinking could be discussed, but it is certain that it causes much pressure to be placed upon children that are against heading into one of those professions. It turns into the main issue that some autobiographies focus on.

Armen Shirvanian’s last blog post..Ways To Respond To Events Presented To You

# 25 November 2008 at 9:56 pm

Arp (author) said:

The validity is easy – they’re usually the most well-paying professions, and the idea is that wealth equals security. Of course, that’s not necessarily true since someone making a high income can still spend most of every month to keep up with materially-obsessed peers.

And of course, picking a profession based on wealth ignores personal interests and satisfaction.

# 26 November 2008 at 10:01 am

Trish said:

Good point, Arp. Some of the most trapped people I know are the ones making the most money. What happens when they lose their job or change professions? They still have to make outrageous mortgage and car payments. I feel a lot more free with our “living with less” idea.

# 29 November 2008 at 7:59 pm